just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
