Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
