Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize