Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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