first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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