Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
