Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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