a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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