I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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