why didn't you poke me back
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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