The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
