At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
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