I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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