I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
