Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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