idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize