Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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