Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
