It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
