I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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