in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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