Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize