i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
