I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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