do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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