Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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