I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
