mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
