dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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