i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
