don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
