Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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