I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
