There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
