he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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