I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I have already put on my inside pants.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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