ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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