So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
