So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
