Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
