i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
