I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
