She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
