I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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