Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
