i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
