Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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