Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
