all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
