i jhust puked up my retainher.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
