She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
