I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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