How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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