Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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