so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize