i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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