im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
