who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
